Three Healthy Meals And How To Ruin Them

When it comes to food, it’s not that hard to have a balanced, sensible diet. There are at least half a dozen different types of fruit and vegetable and all sorts of things like pasta and cous cous that can bulk out a meal without making it too unhealthy. Even if you’re a devout carnivore, grilled meats served in sensible portions can be a great part of a healthy meal.

To really ruin these meals, and transform them into something that will clog your arteries and fill out your gut, you’re going to need a little creativity. Let me show you how/

Caesar Salad

A Caesar salad is a great midday summer snack. All you need is a large head romaine lettuce with the outer leaves removed, and a handful of walnuts.

You mix a dressing from two tablespoons of tahini, a two ounce can of anchovies drained, rinsed and chopped, four chopped garlic cloves, three tablespoons of lemon juice, two of balsamic vinegar, two of extra virgin olive oil, and then a bit of salt and black pepper to taste.  Just stick those ingredients in a blender, adding the olive oil at the end. Then toss the rinsed and chopped lettuce with the dressing and walnuts.

How To Ruin It

Bacon. Loads of bacon. Fry up four or more rashers, them finely and toss them in with the lettuce, making sure it’s all mixed in so people can’t just pick out the bacon. If in doubt, serve with a dollop of mayonnaise.

Salmon Burgers

Salmon burgers make a great, low fat alternative to the slab of cow you normally eat. They’re easy as well. Just cut four skinless, boneless salmon fillets into chunks, then tip them into a food processor with a thumb sized piece of grated ginger, a teaspoon of soy sauce, a tablespoon of red Thai curry paste and a handful of fresh coriander. Mix it up, then pat the mixture into burger shapes and fry in a non-stick pan for four or five minutes until crispy and cooked through. Then serve with rice.

How To Ruin It

That is, serve with rice if you’re a wuss. A real man will stick these burgers in a floury bread bun with a brick of cheddar cheese, a slice of bacon, and a healthy triple layer of relish, mayo and mustard.

Serve with chips at least twice as thick as your fingers.

Yogurt and Honey

Yogurt is a great snack, it’s high in calcium, low in fat and is great for the digestive system. Admittedly, to get the best results you need low-fat, unflavoured, probiotic yogurt, which you can sweet with a little bit of honey.

Honey is a healthy snack in its own right, with some studies suggesting it can increase the blood’s antioxidant levels and may be good for people with high cholesterol. At the very least, it makes a great alternative to sugar or artificial sweeteners.

Just a small portion of yogurt with some honey drizzled on top is great dessert for when you’re feeling naughty.

How To Ruin It

Look, if you’re feeling naught just have an ice cream. Sod it, have an ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce and bits of chocolate brownie in and a chocolate flake sticking out of the top.

Then have another, not because you’ll enjoy it, anyone who tries to eat two chocolate sundaes in a row is going to feel sick, but anyone who thinks that flavourless yogurt in any way counts as being a bit naughty clearly needs a visit from the ironic punishments division.

Afterwards, have a mint.

Chris Farnell is a freelance writer who covers low fat recipes, high fat recipes and some breakfast cereals. If you ask him nicely he’ll tell you the secret meal between breakfast and brunch.

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